Sickipedia

Velodrome is just NASCAR on bikes.

Alex Scott has hit back at Lord Digby Jones after he voiced his displeasure at her pronunciation of certain words as she presented the Olympics. Ms Scott replied "I'm proud of my accent." At least I think that's what the cockney bitch said.

Harry's many lavish gifts to Meghan on her 40th birthday include some of Diana's jewels that "caused a royal row." ... Since when was Harry in possession of Dodi Fayed's balls?

After earning yet another medal this Olympics, the US Women's football team have reportedly set their sights on something they haven't been able to accomplish yet. Beating a team of 14 year old boys.

My missus is making an Aegean dinner tonight. Burnt Turkey and Grease.

Kathy Griffin has announced on social media that she is cancer. We knew that already Kat. Ohhh... I appear to have misread...

The owner of doomed alpaca Geronimo has vowed to film every moment of his killing. Finally, some decent wank material.

I've heard from many sources that I never miss a beat. Might explain why so many of my exes were in shelters.

Sex is a lot like the US Military. Pull out at the wrong time and you'll waste 20 years and shit load of money. (Not mine)

The BBC will soon be filming a programme where four 20 year old men compete to see how many different prostitutes they can visit with only £300. Bargain Cunt airs in December.