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jo3n

Member since 8 years ago

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bigzav

member since 8 years ago

cupidfuckingstunt

member since 8 years ago

hockey

member since 7 years ago

garystockman1

member since 7 years ago

Porn gives young people an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

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My son came running in the house shouting, "DADDY, do farts have lumps." "Why no son, why do you ask?" "I think I just shit my pants."

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Having a mobile makes it really easy to cheat on my wife. My son stands behind her and texts me what cards she's got in her hand.

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7 years ago-Crime-Murder

My buddy asked, "Do you think someday you'll ever be famous?" "Maybe." I replied,"If the find the bodies."

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My wife just dumped me because of my "stupid comparisons." I feel like a China Shop in a cow field.

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7 years ago-Other-Women

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

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7 years ago-Crime-Theft

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Or grow weed, according to my arrest report.

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Acupuncture: Proof that stabbing someone can make things better.

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7 years ago-Other-Family

Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him I was married now and that's where I sleep.

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7 years ago-Wordplay-Children

A woman has given birth in the history department of a Barnes and Noble bookshop. Apparently she was looking for the Cesarean section.

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