Sickipedia

Saw a black transvestite on pornhub, she had boobs and a cock. My mate said that it reminded him of an African elephant I thought it was because their skin was flakey and they have to travel for water everyday but turns out the cock looked like a trunk and the tits like it’s eyes.

I saw inside the room and it really was like something out of a horror movie. Loads of Muslims all packed into one room, unable to breath without their ventilators and hanging on for dear life. And that's the story of my most guilty wank.

My 11 year old daughter came home last Saturday so I asked, ‘How was your day darling.’ She replied, ‘It was great until I got left on a cliffhanger.’ I asked her what TV series she was watching but she told me she was hanging on the end of an old man called Cliffs penis. Wishing that I was dreamin’ , she told me he was screaming ‘Daddy’s home’ the whole time.

My kids have been getting right on me tits lately, keep stealing my phone and writing rude messages to people on Facebook. Well, you know what they say. If you can't beat em, join em. And that's the story of how I have siamese twins..

At the age of 25, I was a young man looking for a new kitchen but with limited income it wasn’t looking affordable so I crunched some numbers and 30 years later I have a perfectly functioning toaster, dishwasher, oven and a hob all in one that fucks me and all it cost me was a ring.

Saw some Australian geeza put on his snapchat, ‘Going to catch some rays.’ I thought he was going for a sunbathe but next thing I see is ‘RIP Steve Irwin’ all over the news

So many girls are just flirty these days which is hard because my mates always say that they don't know if they're about to get lucky or not. For me, it's easy. When they start saying, "This doesn't taste normal to me" then that's when I know.

In all fairness, the Fritzl household would be one of the few actually obeying the lockdown measures.

I saw inside the room and it really was like something out of a horror movie. Loads of Muslims all packed into one room, unable to breath without their ventilators and hanging on for dear life. And that's the story of my most guilty wank.

Two 12 year olds were engaged in their first roasting of each other. Number 1: I'll fuck your Nan Number 2: My Nan's dead. Number 1: I never said anything about her being alive