Sickipedia

my mate went to China with a broken knee and every time they greeted him he replied: ‘I fell off a fence mate’

Saw some Australian geeza put on his snapchat, ‘Going to catch some rays.’ I thought he was going for a sunbathe but next thing I see is ‘RIP Steve Irwin’ all over the news

I was playing a quiz game the other day when I got a very tricky question about films. After 5 minutes of long, hard thinking someone told me to just take a stab in the dark.. So I ran to the kitchen, grabbed a carving knife and stuck it in the belly of my mate Abdul.

After it all got a bit intense, I had to pull out of the game. To this day, I still wonder why her parents called her Thegame.

My 11 year old daughter came home last Saturday so I asked, ‘How was your day darling.’ She replied, ‘It was great until I got left on a cliffhanger.’ I asked her what TV series she was watching but she told me she was hanging on the end of an old man called Cliffs penis. Wishing that I was dreamin’ , she told me he was screaming ‘Daddy’s home’ the whole time.

After a weekend with my wife I messaged my two sons Jamie and Charlie asking if they were okay. Jamie replied, ‘No Dad, Charlie is hanging’ I got home laughing and shouted upstairs, ‘Oi Charlie you lightweight fucker.’ After no reply,I rushed upstairs to see my son hanging from the ceiling

Someone told me that Frankie Boyle was dark and sick. The lying cunt, there I was imagining a dying Ethiopian but turns out he’s a pale, ginger Scot.

What’s the difference between a baby and an apple? I don’t cum in the apple before I eat it

Oscar Pistorius and Reva Steenkamp both needed to piss. Oscar called shotgun but she ran in before him, so he got his shotgun and blew her brains out. Now she’s dead.

I have been very worried about this page since my username is jgoody29. Every time I login I fear they may tell me ‘This user doesnt’t exist’ Also, for all the sick jokes I have been posting some may call me a rotten cunt...