Sickipedia
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Sickipedia
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My mate came up to me today and said "Fuck me your a fat cunt these days aint ya" I replied "Yes mate thats because everytime i shag your missus she makes me a bacon sandwich".
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My new football manager said to me, 'Alright son, since its your first game I'm gonna pull you off at half time.' That's great I thought. At my last team we only got oranges.
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"Big fish, little fish, cardboard box" I fucking hate doing stock-takes for Birds Eye.....
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Elton John goes to a tattooist and says "I want a Rolls Royce tattooed on my cock". "You'd be better off with a Land Rover" replies the tattooist, "it won't get stuck in the shit".
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My wife walked in the kitchen and said, "That smells nice, what is it?" "Its a red wine sauce I've made." I pointed my finger towards her and said, "Have a taste." She said, "That tastes fucking disgusting." "Sorry, wrong finger... scratched my arse with that one."
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I asked my wife to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy birthday fun, I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked, "Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed, "Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"
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Ronseal... "Does exactly what it says on the tin" Funny, I can't seem to find where it says ruins your best fucking jeans...
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Did you know you are supposed to pull anal beads out slowly? I didn't... I started the wife up like a fucking chainsaw.....
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Drugs are for mugs. With the exception of Rohypnol, that's for wine glasses.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
01-
Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
05-
Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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