Sickipedia

I asked a scouser "do you ever wear cologne?" He replied "only when I've no hope in my heart". (Nod to Chum).

Anyone else noticed that Russell Brand has the same "shit house rat" eyes as Charles Manson? And he's also just as unfunny.

Forty five African pilgrim ni... er pilgrim natives were travelling to an Easter service and found God much earlier than they intended. Hallelujah! He works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.

As "Royal Lodge" will soon be vacated by Andrew, I have applied for the tenancy. I'm pretty sure it will be a formality that I am given it as I have offered to double the rent that Andrew was paying.

Diane Abbott has commented on the Andrew affair. "I find it disgraceful that he has not had his cycling proficiency certificate and his 25 yard swimming certificate cancelled, along with his GCSE O level in woodwork", she said.

Clever of Sickipedia to save money on the new format. They got a brilliant deal from Fujitsu who designed it by reusing it's old Post Office Horizon software.

BBC News again.......Price or multibuy promotions on unhealthy food and drink, such as "buy one, get one free" deals, are to be banned in England from Wednesday. "Multi-buy promotions do not save people money – in fact, they encourage them to spend more", a spokesman says. Seems like Government logic. Getting one instead of two for the same cost .Who thought that one up , Dianne Abbott?

BBC Online News..........Pinterest boss says he thinks about Molly Russell every day. Well, whatever turns you on I suppose.

Tony Blair named on the new "Board of Peace " to end the two year war in Gaza. He did point out that this peace can only be implemented once Gaza gives up its weapons of mass destruction.

Tyler Robinson, arrested on suspicion of shooting Charlie Kirk is pleading innocence. "I'm being made a patsy" he stated. I wasn't anywhere near the grassy knoll so it can't have been me.