Sickipedia

Football match between Hapoel and Maccabi Tel Aviv called off due to hooliganism. Both sets of fans first blamed each other for starting it, then blamed antisemitism, before settling on blaming khamas for the incident.

Tel Aviv fans won't be able to cry antisemitism when Villa pump them at the Park.

2 Jews killed in Manchester. The 5 men were in a synagogue when the murderer stabbed all 10 of them. Police said: we regret the death of 20 people at the synagogue. 50 families have lost a loved one today.

Unite the Kingdom. By gathering a load of dickheads in one place.

In their latest effort for peace with Israel, Hamas have organised an open air concert on the border in memory of the dead

Earlier, the Countdown presenter Rachel Riley posted a video to social media of people waving Palestinian flags and sounding car horns. She also wrote: “Moany moany moan moan, whiney whiney whine whine"

According to police, Plymouth shooter Jake Davison was part of the "incel" movement. "Incel" means involuntary celibate, which is a posh way to say "wanker".

So I was trying on an earring in a shop while talking to a mate on the handsfree. Of course I was masked up because of Covid. I just grabbed my sunglasses to put on when my ear turned round and said: "Dyou want me to hold your fucking bag as well?!"

"Dustin Poirier asked UFC for rule change for Conor McGregor trilogy fight" He didn't think it was fair for every punch he landed on McGregor's chin to count as a low blow.

"James Duddridge, the UK’s minister for Africa, appeared to confuse Zimbabwe with Zambia in a speech at the funeral of Kenneth Kaunda" PM Boris Johnson has said he will personally apologise on his next trip to Hubba Hubba Yum Yum.