I got home from work last night, and caught my sister masturbating with a carrot.
"FFS" I thought, "I was going to eat that later. Now it's gonna taste like carrot!"
Does anyone else give their mobile phone a nickname? I always have done...
My first one I called 'Diana', because it always went dead in tunnels.
My second one I called 'Maddie'. I lost that one on holiday in Portugal.
The one I have now I call 'Rihanna', because sometimes I have to hit it to turn it on.
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