Sickipedia

Yanks are getting so fucking fat that the next war will be for cooking oil

During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad." I was furious. "You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me." I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door. I mean, you don't expect shit like that from your sister, do you?

Little known fact, before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do their drinking at home

Dinner time is so Much better since I told the missus that the smoke alarm isn't a timer

A really sexy girl was checking me out today. Then I paid her for the groceries and left the shop.

The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my missus. I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.

My missus ran at me with a knife last night screaming, "Golf, golf, fucking golf is all you think about you selfish cunt!", I was fucking terrified...you don't expect to meet anybody on the ninth green at 10.30pm.

Pele will soon be back in his favourite position In the box

Some religious people believe that serious illnesses such as cancer do not require medical treatment, and can be cured by the power of prayer alone. Sceptics may chuckle, but there is a scientific basis for this kind of thinking. It's called natural selection.

My budgie flew out of it's cage a few months ago and started fucking the dog.... I got some puppies going cheep if anyones interested?