Sickipedia

Jesus died on a Friday and came back on Monday. If that was me I would die on the Monday and come back on the Thursday. You miss putting the bins out and you're just in time for a weekend binge

Watching the united V Liverpool game reminds me of that horrible old porn film. Not bad on the table but shit in the cup

Damn, I had no idea that my neighbours love the same music as me, They just threw a brick through my window to hear it better

And we have a new entry to this weeks charts, Heres Sinead O'CONNOR with " shave to the grave"

Well done man united two records in one season Biggest win for Liverpool and fastest goal for city

I always loved the thick thighs on Tina turner, I bet she gave the bucket some kick

Rolf was really strict in his sleep pattern, he always went to bed when the big hand touched the little hand

Questions I ask myself, Since big ears became king will he continue in his mothers tradition of sending cash to people who reach 100 years old or will he follow his brothers tradition of sending dick-pics to kids who reach 14 years old

Good news for actors The script just got shorter

Watching united tonight reminds me of when I met this ugly chick in a pub a few years back,, not sure if I can reach a semi