Sickipedia

Apparently the crushing incident in Israel was caused by a spelling mistake. Netflix were showing the film 'Shoah', to which signs had been placed along the route saying 'This way to the Shower'

A Paedophile who had only been abusing children for a week has just been charged, apparently several of his younger victims split on him right away.

After all the world wide illness apparently Doctors have finally agreed that laughter is officially the best medicine, but if your diabetic I'm told insulin does help.

I've just tried to join my local gay men club, sadly I failed the entrance test.

A Pakistan guy dies and floats up to heaven, as he gets to the pearly gates St peter opens them and the Pakistani guy says 'I'm here for Jesus', to which St peter shouts 'Taxi for Jesus'

I was in Brixton the other day and saw Leroy and Winston on the street corner selling drugs. I went up to them and asked why they did that, i was told its the amount of money we make. I then said, if its money you want, why don't you get a high paying job like an Astronaut. They said, man black people can't be Astronauts as when we get to 10,000 feet our lips explode.

I used to work as a taxi driver in Brixton, but hated picking up Afro Caribbean's form the Reggae clubs as they used to jump around all inside the car. Luckily i found a cure, Velcro on the roof lining.

I asked a black guy the other day why 99% of them don't get up until after 12, apparently KFC don't do breakfast.

I was at an Indian wedding last week and noticed a bucket of shit near the church door, when I asked why it was there I was told it was to keep the fly's off the bride.

What's the difference between jumping on a Pakistani and jumping on a trampoline, you take your shoe's off to jump on a trampoline.