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I don't bother going to old friends and family funerals no more. After all the cunts won't be going to mine.
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When people get too old they take their driving licences off them so that they don't kill anyone on the road. This is what happens next..... They give them a mobility scooter so that they can kill every cunt on the pavement.
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Novak Jokevich. As John Mcenroe keeps saying.
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I asked the wife what her last wish on this earth would be? She said to be licked out by a Pangolin. Fucking sick bitch.
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Apparently the Jota brothers funerals are being held tomorrow. Fuck me, they don't hang around in Portugal. They're not even cold yet.
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You give me good vibrators.
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I see it's the turn of the German police now to have a holiday in Portugal, or look for Madeleine McCann as it's known as.
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I see the injured toll in the Liverpool drive through has risen to 109. Compensation was mentioned in dispatches.
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I hope Hear our voice don't win BGT tonight. The Government will only deduct their winnings of £250'000 from their compensation. Cunts.
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It's just been confirmed that the 53 year old man that drove his car into the Liverpool fans was a Man Utd fan.
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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