I walked out of McDonalds with a triple cheesburger & was confronted by a homeless man, who said he hadn’t eaten in 3 days, I congratulated him & said I wish I had his willpower.
My gay boss asked me to move his car this morning, when I got in, there was this button on the dashboard saying rear wiper, I thought mmmm. better not.
Got stopped by the Police last night & they said they were looking for 2 child molesters, I said you can put me down for one & I’ll ask my mate next door.
I accidentally are some dog treats, they were quite tasty actually, but this stupid bitch next door complained to the Police when I was marking my territory outside her house.
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