Sickipedia

BBC News: Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has named Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate - the first black woman and Asian American in the role. It took the Americans this long to work out who the better runners were

Ironically if you vote for the green party, you waste a piece of paper

Whats happening to the travelling community? Surely everything they do is non-essential travel. Maybe this will wipe them out.

I saw Paul from the chucklebrothers in Asda earlier I said "Oi, Two metre you"

A cash machine has just charged me £2.00 for a cash withdrawal, but still told me to cover my PIN to stop me getting robbed. Pretty ironic really....

We're gonna have sex with the windows open at around 7pm on Thursday evening, Just so we get a round of applause as we finish at 8pm.

People always look for the negatives. If you put your washing out on the line today, you can get it washed and dried at the same time for free

Hannahing: noun - pron. (le coq womble) meaning. To write unfunny things which no one finds humorous proceding immediately by using very basic means to make ones self look popular. "oh steve, look at the cunt over there on sickipedia hannahing herself to the top" "oh yes vernon, i see her hannahing, well thats fucked up my evening of repeating sick jokes to the wife to get her in the mood."

Nineties: A German with no neckwear.

"I love you like a dwarf loves wanking" I said to the wife last night She looked at me confused "Little and often" I said