Sickipedia

The wife and I were working in China when she gave birth to our third son. Of course I immediately suffocated it. When in Rome...

Seeing a good joke on sickipedia is like hearing that your daughter has been raped. In front of the wife you pretend to be appalled, but inside you keep asking yourself, 'Why didn't I think of that?'

First date She: so what do you do? Me: I'm currently working to kill all cancers. She: Impressive! Me: Then I'll move to Virgos.

I'm only a few inches away from having a gigantic cock. I thought to myself as I stood naked in the prison showers.

I think my new neighbours are really poor... you should have heard the fuss they made when their 2 year old kid swallowed a 10 pence coin earlier.

Don't expect your jokes to be voted up tonight............most members of this group will be huddled by the front door waiting for the doorbell to ring!

"Mr Smith, we have reason to suspect you of an attempted rape tonight." the detective said to me in the interview room. "I want to see my lawyer!" I demanded. "He's already here, sitting next to you." he said. "Sorry," I said, "it must be the pepper spray."

Isn't it weird that the majority of people taking a shit in a public toilet have a permanent marker on them?

I'm making a fortune out of promoting home security systems. The pitch is easy. All I do is say "Hello". At 3 in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed.

Saw the news that WHO is of the opinion that COVID-19 is an complicated virus but could be controlled with soap & water and regular cleaning of hands, therefor no need to panic. The next story was breaking news from Islamic countries about mass panic on the streets.