Sickipedia

I've woken up everyday, opened the curtains to find a German shepherd taking a shit on my lawn.. And this morning the cheeky bastard brought his dog with him.

During isolation I have a lot of time to practice my bowling.. There’s no rest for the wickets.

It has been mentioned that when cruises start sailing again, the buffets will all be staffed with servers instead of just serving yourself. The saddest job will be the person who has to push the buttons on the pop dispenser.   Why?   Because it is "soda pressing".

I once saw a Shrimp finish third in the Olympics... They gave him the Prawns Medal

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked “what companies? “ Gas, water and electricity

You could say France have got that Sommertime sadness...

The Confederacy could have won if they built a bridge over Chesapeake bay. But the confederates would have a hard time getting over it.

What do you call a lycanthrope from Wilmington or Dover? A Delaware-wolf.

Oh my God. England have beaten the bloody Germans. Can’t wait to see Angela Merkel’s face when she meets borisjohnson at Chequers.

Germans invented the bicycle but you never hear them singing about the Tour de France coming come.... or the the Indians going on about the 9 years of hurt since they last won the Chess world championship...