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And Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman were travelling through the jungle when they are captured by a tribe. The chief comes to them and says “You have two choices, death or UM BONGO!” The Englishman replies first: “I don’t know what Um Bongo is old chap but surely it’s better than death. I’ll take Um Bongo” At this a great cheer erupts and from the crowd a huge, 7 foot villager appears, butt naked, 2 foot shlong swinging as he goes. The Englishman is held bent over and the villager Rogers him up the bum with great force until he finishes shouting “UM BONGO!!” The Englishman leaves, blood leaking from his behind but very much alive. The Scotsman is next: “Och! That disnae look like fun, but I’m nit gunna die. Um Bongo it is” The villager is already ready to go and gives a repeat performance, once again culminating in “UM BONGO!” And the Scotsman leaves, fluids dripping down his leg as he goes. Finally it’s the Irishman’s turn, hes white as a ghost and disgusted by what he’s seen. “There’s no way anyone is doing that to me, I’d rather die. Give me death!” He says. The tribe cheer again “DEATH BY UM BONGO!”

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