Sickipedia

was shagging this stunning retarded girl last night and i really wanted to cum in her mouth but she said no! so i pulled out and cum on the window instead so nature could take its course

What does the scrotum of a catholic priest look like? Stupid question, even a child knows that.

Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, 'How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?' He winked at me and said, 'I'm off duty in ten minutes — meet me in the car park

And Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman were travelling through the jungle when they are captured by a tribe. The chief comes to them and says “You have two choices, death or UM BONGO!” The Englishman replies first: “I don’t know what Um Bongo is old chap but surely it’s better than death. I’ll take Um Bongo” At this a great cheer erupts and from the crowd a huge, 7 foot villager appears, butt naked, 2 foot shlong swinging as he goes. The Englishman is held bent over and the villager Rogers him up the bum with great force until he finishes shouting “UM BONGO!!” The Englishman leaves, blood leaking from his behind but very much alive. The Scotsman is next: “Och! That disnae look like fun, but I’m nit gunna die. Um Bongo it is” The villager is already ready to go and gives a repeat performance, once again culminating in “UM BONGO!” And the Scotsman leaves, fluids dripping down his leg as he goes. Finally it’s the Irishman’s turn, hes white as a ghost and disgusted by what he’s seen. “There’s no way anyone is doing that to me, I’d rather die. Give me death!” He says. The tribe cheer again “DEATH BY UM BONGO!”

What's the lesbian equivalent of a cock block? A Beaver dam

why did the sperm cross the road? i put on the wrong pair of socks.

what does a dildo and tofu have in common? there both meat substitutes