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enterthefist

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RIP my 1990s wank fantasy

RIP my 1990s wank fantasy

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Sophie Hediger the Swiss Olympic snowboarder has died in an avalanche - I bet her family were crushed.

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10 months ago-Other-Sarcasm

I had the craziest dream that a Muslim immigrant murdered 5 people and injured over 200 by driving his car through a Christmas market in Germany because their shitty security services ignored several warnings about him. But I've just been on the BBC news website and there's nothing about it at all so I must have imagined the whole thing.

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I asked Emily Blunt out on a date. She said 'No, fuck off you ugly cunt.'

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5 months ago-Stroke

Johnium Cleesium on Twitterium

Johnium Cleesium on Twitterium

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Extreme plastic surgery 'Catwoman' Jocelyn Wildenstein has died. Hopefully they can find a shoebox big enough to bury her in.

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10 months ago-Chinese

Better not be Bella Emberg...

Better not be Bella Emberg...

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A musician from Wallace and Gromit has been convicted of 29 child sex offences spanning more than 40 years. He worked on the wrong trousers.

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11 months ago-Other-Insults

When Chris Martin fell through that trapdoor he made a yelp like a little girl. But that's just how he always sings.

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When David Fuller heard Liam Payne was dead he got a wand erection.

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