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RIP my 1990s wank fantasy
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Sophie Hediger the Swiss Olympic snowboarder has died in an avalanche - I bet her family were crushed.
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I had the craziest dream that a Muslim immigrant murdered 5 people and injured over 200 by driving his car through a Christmas market in Germany because their shitty security services ignored several warnings about him. But I've just been on the BBC news website and there's nothing about it at all so I must have imagined the whole thing.
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I asked Emily Blunt out on a date. She said 'No, fuck off you ugly cunt.'
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Johnium Cleesium on Twitterium
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Extreme plastic surgery 'Catwoman' Jocelyn Wildenstein has died. Hopefully they can find a shoebox big enough to bury her in.
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Better not be Bella Emberg...
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A musician from Wallace and Gromit has been convicted of 29 child sex offences spanning more than 40 years. He worked on the wrong trousers.
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When Chris Martin fell through that trapdoor he made a yelp like a little girl. But that's just how he always sings.
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When David Fuller heard Liam Payne was dead he got a wand erection.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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