Sickipedia

A man with no arms and no legs went swimming. He go kicked out for arsing about.

Every time my wife and I have sex, I put £1 in a jar next to the bed towards her christmas presents. She's done really well this year. She's getting some hair clips from the pound shop.

Prince Andrew kindly volunteers to look after all the Royal's kids over christmas this year. He said he'll give them a Christmas they'll never forget. Such a nice man.

As I turned up for my appointment with the nurse, I slapped my cock on her desk so she can look at my swelling, "Oh my god!" She yelled. "Awful, isn't it, do you have anything for it?" I winked. "This is a school you dirty bastard! Get out!"

Batman and Robin drop in to the Gotham City police building, in less than five minutes, after the bat signal was switched on. "The Joker has escaped, again!" Says Commissioner Gordon. Batman replies with sign language. "What the matter?" Asks Gordon, "Catwoman got your tongue?" "He's been like this since Thursday" replies Robin, "It's as if his voice just. . . died."

My blonde wife has been rushed to hospital. Thd idiot tripped over the wireless internet connection.

I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today, I felt sorry for her because she didn't understand. I had to drop the bomb on her, twice.

My blonde wife went to the dentist today and spent a massive fortune. On a bluetooth!

I can't wait to see Russia Vs Ukraine.

"So what makes you think you are a suitable canditade for the job?" Asked the Royal Navy recruiter during my interview. I replied, "Because I sailed through my exams, I got the seven C's"