I'm so successful with the ladies, a TV documentary has been made about my numerous conquests.
Although they didn't call it a documentary. They called it a "series of reconstructions".
A really aggressive guy came up to me in the pub the other day.
'I've met some absolute twats in my life,' he roared, 'but you are something else!'
I was pretty relieved. At least he doesn't think I'm a twat.
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