Sickipedia

All you haters. You can't hurt me. I was a fat teenage boy in a Catholic school and in those days we only had Izel toilet paper.

Goodbye cruel world..........

After 15 years of marriage one thing I've learnt from my wife is, if you have nothing important to say, say it anyway.

My dog and I both freak out whenever the doorbell rings. Although we run in opposite directions.

I'm such a hipster. Even I've never heard of my favourite band.

Sign language is handy.

Women may be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Can't afford to go on holiday? Steal some vodka and drink until you don't know where you are.

I met a beautiful young woman at a nightclub, we were getting on very well when she said she had something to show me. She removed her wig and she was totally bald. ''It's alopecia,'' she said ''but if you still like me you can ask me anything''. Well, I have always wanted to know, so I asked her straight. ''Does your condition make you bald in other places?'' She whispered in my ear ''There's only one way to find out.'' "Of course." I thought. "What an idiot, forgetting about Google at a time like this."

BBC news headlines: Mass breastfeeding event attracts over 2000. I bet it did.