Sickipedia

Charlie Kirk. So good at smoking fuckwits. They had to shoot him. Courtesy of Father Ted with a similar gag.

I was asking my mate about his wife who is recovering from breast cancer. Turns out. Asking him, how many tits she has now. Makes me an insensitive bastard. Who knew?

All those bone idle cunts years ago who wanted to be Coronation Day flag sellers. I hope you fuckers are at work!

Just been to the Tower of London to look at the Crown Jewels. There's fuck all there. Obviously some black cunt's wogged them away.

When I was working in the Welsh Valley's with an English mate, I told him Wales were short on women so the locals would have sex with the sheep! After a few moments he said ok, let's do it, so I said right, I'll wake you up about 3am, he looked at me in shock saying. " Why get up so early?" I replied, "You don't want an ugly one boyo!"

A smile is contagious; just smile at someone and see their reaction. For that extra bit of excitement, do it with your cock out.

I only shave my cunt if I'm 100% certain I am going to have sex. You wouldn't peel a potato if you weren't going to mash it.

My huge fear right now is that our military hasn’t had enough diversity training to prepare them for this moment…

Thinking of ordering a pizza for home delivery. Not that I'm hungry - just want Ahmed to get pissed wet through on his moped!

In Tonga. You don't need to go to the seaside. The seaside comes to you.