Sickipedia

I haven't seen Rick Astley in years! Lying fucker!

How many fish are there in a pair of tights? Five, two eels, two soles and a fucking smelly wet plaice!

One thing I've learned whilst I've been married to my wife is I'll never commit bigamy! Imagine two f@@king mother-in-laws

I've been ripped off again! Paid a joiner to make a double bed and he's done a bunk..

My wife fucked off and left me last week, she said she was going to get some milk and never came back. My mum called and asked me how I was coping? "Not bad" I said, "I've been using that powdered stuff"

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second koala bear fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first koala bear. Why did the third koala bear fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was doing an impression of a koala bear 🐨

Anyone know a cure for sex addiction? I've tried fucking everything.

Paddy and Mick are walking through the woods when they come across a sign that reads " Tree fellers wanted". "Ah what a shame" says Paddy, "If only Seamus was here with us we all could have applied for that" Credit: Frank Carson

Should crematorium's give discounts to burns victims?

I filed my nails today with an emery board It was awful ...but I liked it ...