Sickipedia

Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a supermarket. Doctor: How long have you felt like this? Me: Since I was Lidl. No, you fuck off.

The first rule of Hide a Vegetable in a Sentence Club is always be true to yourself.

Someone's just 1.27 centimetred my joke about cockneys and the metric system.

N V B K I T H E K L O P F I N V E N T O R Z S F O F T H E E F G H J I O L P L Y Q W O R D S E A R C H H A S J P O D I E D G W

My girlfriend got attacked by a marsupial in Malaysia. "Kuala Lumpur"? "No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

Todays weather forecast. S O e S H W R Scattered showers .

I hear Tom Daley likes to have 5 Guys after competing in a diving event. Then he he goes out for a burger.

The first rule of hide a vegetable in a sentence club is, always be true to yourself.

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have? SCOOBY DOO: rabies. SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant.

Paddy's boss gave him a tin of green paint, and asked him to go to his house. And paint his porch. Paddy came back two hours later with the empty tin, and his boss says "well Paddy. Did you paint my porch like I asked you"? He says, "I did yes boss. But it wasn't a porch .it was a Mercedes ".