Sickipedia

The first of the Chinese migrants found in the Essex lorry have been identified. The families of Sum Ting Wong, Bee Lo Fre Zing and Fu King Kold have been notified.

I see Kate is expecting again? Perhaps she should've married Harry because it seems every time she even looks at a Willy she gets pregnant

Dogs are smart as fuck. My neighbour's Staffie can speak Polish.

My Grandad always used to say "Never waste an erection." Fantastic bloke, prolific child abuser.

What's the difference between a Brussels sprout and a big hairy ginger fanny? If you really really fucking had to, you would eat a Brussels sprout.

Apparently a flock of seagulls have attacked a little girl 2 days after killing the family dog. It's also being said it was the same 'gang' who abducted a Chihuahua last week. I never liked any of their music to be fair.

Does anyone get an awkward erection while stroking m̶y̶ their cat? Asking for a mate?

The worse thing about this weather is not knowing if you've shit your pants, or if you've just farted sweat off your bumhole.

I see a 15yr old kid has been shot outside a Maccy Dees in Coventry? Ba da bab bab baah...

Our lass is ecstatic because I've just called her a 9. Fat cunt doesn't realise it's out of 100.