Sickipedia

You can keep your red roses, give them to your Granny' what I want on Valentines Day, is a big dick up me fanny.

I'm doing my bit for the environment, I only have sex with guys who have sustainable wood.

If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.

After a long battle with Leukemia, and a few failed attempts at Suicide, my Dyslexic friend finally passed his spelling test.

So the drinks are on Donald, Sex on the Bleach Jiff and Tonic Harvey Wall Cilit-banger Lager and Lime scale remover Zinfandetol AntibacteRealAle Apple Peroxcider Milk Shake N Vac

How many remoaners does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they would rather hold a vote to leave the same broken one in place.

A man who was wrongly accused of masturbating on a bus, has won a £5000 payout by the police. I bet he splashes out on something nice.

Your mother has been with us for 20 years, I said to my husband. Isn’t it time she got a place of her own? My mother? He replied . I thought she was your mother.

Sir Kier Starmer would like it to be known he has never arranged an illegal Christmas Party. In fact he is incapable of organising any party.

I've got free front row tickets going for the Blind Javelin event at the Paralympics, if anyone is interested.