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burryfurger

Member since 8 years ago

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Its just come closer to home...

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Anyone else think it's a bit distasteful of Sky Sports to use footage from the Hillsborough disaster in the ad for the new premiership season?

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I was on an airplane yesterday, and the gorgeous stewardess said to me, "would you like some headphones?" I said "yes please, and how did you know my name is phones?"

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On a menu I saw "Golden Soup" listed. I asked the waitress why it's called golden soup? She said because there's 24 carrots in it.

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What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off

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What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your cock up a bird's arse.

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Hot woman: I wouldn't sleep with you if we were the last two people on earth. Me: In all honesty, if we were the last two people on earth, who would stop me?

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The winner of the world strawberry picking championship was a woman with no legs. The newspaper report said she was a jammy cunt.

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I saw a black man yesterday with 7 fingers. I said "excuse me, don't take this the wrong way, but it must be great having 7 fingers on the one hand. " He replied, "fuck off you cunt, I'm eating a twix."

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles

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