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bummedyourmum

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Vagina-Post Rating : 0

Applicable; The new dating app for single lesbians.

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Prostitute-Post Rating : 0

My wife went mad when I gave half my wages away this month. She calmed down a bit when I told her it all day went to Charity though. Charity is the name of my favourite hooker down at the club.

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Obesity-Post Rating : 0

"You're looking well..." I said to my wife as she got home from work. "Aww, thanks" She replied "Not often you compliment me". "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking" I told her "I was about to say 'You're looking well fat', lose some fucking weight"

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Obesity-Post Rating : 0

"You're looking well..." I said to my wife as she got home from work. "Aww, thanks" She replied "Not often you compliment me". "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking" I told her "I was about to say 'You're looking well fat', lose some fucking weight"

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 0

A policeman pulled me over and said that I had to take a compulsory general knowledge quiz on football stadium capacities. "On what grounds?" I demanded

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Other-Stupid-Post Rating : 0

If I had a pound for every time I lost a pound coin...

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Penis-Post Rating : 0

I'm not saying I've got a massive cock but I entered the 3-legged race at my kids' sports day and won it on my own.

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Other-Children-Post Rating : 0

You wouldn't believe how much I love my kids. Because I don't love them at all.

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Other-Computers/Technology-Post Rating : 0

I bought a sat-nav from Fat boy Slim but it just keeps saying "Right here, right now."

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bummedyourmum

8 years ago-Other-Dad Jokes-Post Rating : 0

I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball but it got thrown out of court.

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