Sickipedia

Patrick Stewart can actually grow a full head of hair, its just every role hes ever been offered is playing the part of a bald man

Michelle Agyemang has beat Luke Littler and Lando Norris to win sports personality of the year. I give it 24 hours until Joey Barton breaches his suspended sentence and is put in jail

Maccabi tel aviv fans banned from attending their eufa europa league match against aston villa, due to fears of riots and fan safety. When in reality its because a jew would never pay £8.60 for a chicken and mushroom pie at halftime

It can only get worse for Prince Andrew if it comes out that he cracked one off to princess Diana's post mortem photographs

Been suffering terribly with haemaroids recently, suppose it makes a nice change from the erectile disfunction

"Who else can we get to serve on the board of peace?" "You remember that Blair bloke who helped his mate murder half a million people"

Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe said the lowest point of his career was when his second cousin paula shit on the floor during the 2005 London marathon

Keir Starmer defended Peter Mandelson after no10 knew about Epstein emails, he's quoted saying 'he's gay so he didn't get involved he only watched'

Credit where it's due, the irony of Israel bombing a ceasefire meeting is hilarious

I'm not racist, but David Lammy really makes me wish I was