Sickipedia

I Hate paedophiles, they all need fucking hanging from a lamppost by their bollocks. What makes any man want to fuck a youngster, sick bastards. Mind you if I was a paedophile I would definitely fuck the sexy 10 year old who lives next door, she is so fucking sexy in her school uniform.

Please remember today that when casting your vote, one slip of the pen and we could have Diane Abbot as home secretary

Women, Don't ask us Men what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: – Sex, Sport or Cars

I was having trouble with my computer so I called Lucy, the 11 year old from next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked her to come over. Lucy clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As she was walking away, I called after her, 'So, what was wrong?' She replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Lucy grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' she said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T Fucking Cunt.. her knickers was off before she got to the door

Three women go out for a meal One is engaged, one is a mistress, and one have been married for 20+ years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a mask over just our eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went: The engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. Then the married woman shared her story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said... "What's for dinner, Batman

Five Rules For Men To Follow To a Happy Life: 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

I have been through a rough patch recently. Liverpool

An elderly, white-haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special." At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000," he said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said.. On Monday morning, the jeweller 'phoned the old man and said "Sir, there's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!" All Seniors Aren't Senile

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby." says the other mother cheerfully. "He's a martyr now though." mum confides. "Oh, so sad dear!" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He's a martyr too." says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me." says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18." she whispers. "Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He's a martyr also.." says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"