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blackcoffematters

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My wife got angry with me because I kept slipping golf references into our conversations. I soon putter in her place.

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Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan dies aged 57. I'm sure there are a variety of jokes to make, but I can't even think of one.

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I've just bought a Liverpool shirt, and it's the best thing, so far, for social distancing.

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Be careful, If you suddenly start singing Duran Duran or Spandau Ballet songs. If you have, seek medical attention straight away. You have almost certainly been affected by the New Wave.

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France have vowed to give their unequivocal support to the Ukraine and have asked them how many flags they will require.

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Signed the wife up for a 'Pure Creation' plan after watching the ad on TV. I was gutted to find out she had to die first.

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I told someone on Twitter, they were clinically obese. She blocked me.

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I'm trying to write a song, but I need more lyrics. I've got.. Three coons are pure shit, England fans are seething.

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Has anyone seen When Harry met Nigger, yet?

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If you have a fever, a cough and start hearing Radio Luxembourg transmissions, isolate immediately. You have contracted the long wave.

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