Sickipedia

I do have to say, I did find the headline in the Sun Newspaper announcing the death of singer Chris Rea was slightly insensitive "Die Rea" is just not on.

My wife and I have agreed to have an open relationship. She was a bit taken aback when I said I would be starring in a porn movie, her look when I told her it's working title was anal rent boys 3 was priceless..

The home office responding to allegations of racism and incompetence regarding the accidental release of the Epping migrant and sex offender Hadush Kebatu,, a spokesman said " the criticism on both counts is unfair, any one could have made the mistake given all niggers look the same."

I now understand the definition of focus and tunneled vision determination of the task at hand. Knocking one out over Gabby Logan while she is on screen with three football pundits.

I was about to board my ryan air flight and the guy doing the boarding said ' 21 to the rear must go via the back door" I said to him "fuck that, I am only flying back to Dublin to see my.mother"

I just told a fit bird down my local that her arse looked like the perfect peach. She took offence, pulled out the stone , threw it at me and it hit me in the eye. Bitch.

I have just e mailed the IDF and the Israeli Government, I sent them a google pin and let them know that HAMAS leaders are currently having a meeting in my ex wife's house.

I ended up putting half a load into the washing machine earlier. Only because I nicked my ball sack in the detergent drawer and shot the rest of my load over the kitchen worktop.

I have just received my new blowtorch, scalpel, hammer, gimp mask and selfie stick. Now to find out if my girlfriends cat really does have nine lives.

Was playing a game of Genocide bingo earlier. Nearly got a full 10 points for an entire family wiped out, but one of the young lads survived and I only got a nine pointer. I wonder what the Israeli psychopaths have in store for the Gaza population tomorrow?