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Daily Mail news- Two employees die in food colour factory explosion… What an unfortunate way Tie-Dye
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When I heard you could become a sperm donor via post, I came in a jiffy.
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I went for a routine eye test the other day. I put my chin on the strap and looked through the camera, the optician said “Are you ok with little puffs of air?” I said “yes” He replied “Good” Then he released a crescendo of farts.
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Eagle radio news; “Woman found dead in River Wey” The celebratory ending is a bit uncalled for.
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Can’t believe it. Some arsehole broke into my house and stole my limbo stick. How low can he go?
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It seems the only thing Philip Schofield won’t push into is his wife.
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I’ve just taken out a monthly magazine subscription. In a couple of months I’ll finally have my bullet collection stored nicely.
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The Sun; Missing mum and her two daughters, 4 and 2, found dead in their car in parking lot. Strange choice of names for the kids.
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BBC News; Six patients being tested for suspected Corona-virus in UK. All six must have Lyme disease too otherwise it’s pointless having it.
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