Sickipedia

I was driving to work this morning when I passed a pub sign which read “all day breakfast”. I thought. I don’t have time for that

My watch stopped working during a minute’s silence the other day. I was stood there for hours. But I couldn’t tell anyone.

Can’t believe it. Some arsehole broke into my house and stole my limbo stick. How low can he go?

I tried to take an overdose earlier. But within half an hour after popping two paracetamol I felt much better

Eagle radio news; “Woman found dead in River Wey” The celebratory ending is a bit uncalled for.

How would you get the exact weight of a red hot chilli pepper? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

I’ve been making wine at home. I’ve been making it using raisins so it’d have aged automatically

I was driving down the motorway and I saw a sign which read “next service station 10 miles”. I thought wow, that’s pretty big. People must get pretty tired around here

I don’t know what India is complaining about.. I’d love to be battered by a cyclone Fani

I went for a routine eye test the other day. I put my chin on the strap and looked through the camera, the optician said “Are you ok with little puffs of air?” I said “yes” He replied “Good” Then he released a crescendo of farts.