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bengalitimemachine

Member since 7 years ago

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bengalitimemachine

2 years ago-Racism-Black-Post Rating : -2

Had the pest control guy come around earlier. Bit disappointing. Apparently, doesn't do black people.

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Was in the supermarket earlier, when I saw a little old lady reaching up to the top shelf. "Can you manage? I asked. "No, its too high." she sighed. "Don't worry," I said. "Next time bring a footstool."

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Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knockers on that Nigella Lawson. Come on in, Stuttering Steve.

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Knock off, Knock off... Who's there? Del Boy

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bengalitimemachine

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : -1

The wife said to me, " I just can't work you out." NOT what I wanted to hear. As I'd asked her to help with my chronic constipation by shoving a pencil up my arse.

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bengalitimemachine

2 years ago-In The News-Religion-Post Rating : -3

Can't remember who the spiritual leader of Tibet is. It's on the tip of my tongue . .

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S Club 7 legend Paul Cattermole has died aged 46. Wonder if he had the chance to Say Goodbye.

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Paddy: Just heard John Lydon's wife has died Mick: Bloody Nora! Paddy: No! it was all quite peaceful, Alzheimer's apparently.

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Ryuichi Sakamoto now decomposing

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My wife tells me I'm a big softie. Loves making fun of my erectile dysfunction.

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