Sickipedia

I often walk around hospitals calling patients cunts. I like to add insult to injury

I'm not impressed with the Strictly come dancing line up this year... My estimations of the show has certainly gone downs hill.

My marriage to the missus resembles a rose ... She the rose and I'm the prick

I drink Budweiser light, watch women's football, get down to a bit of Fleetwood Mac and bat for both teams ... Still seems better than saying I support Manchester United.

Congratulations to the England lionesses .. Now get back home and sort the fucking kids out

There are some absolute beasts in that power slap championship.... I was completely gobsmacked in what I witnessed.

I've been so down lately , completely misunderstood, blamed and just genuinely fed up.. It become so bad I'm genuinely thinking about ending my life .... Shit !! Sorry didn't mean life , I meant wife

I think all the protesters in London are just warming up for the Kaiser Chiefs 20 year gig in Brighton next Sunday. I predict a riot. I will see my self out.....

Being terrored by a wasp in the garden all afternoon. . My wife asked.... "Isn't that driving you mad!?" Nah it's buzzing, I replied!.

The missus wants me to give up fags. She said she can't stand the smell of cocks on my breath in the morning.