Sickipedia

‘Prince Harry will not join other royals for next month’s Remembrance Sunday service’ He’s not the only Prince they want to forget.

‘Japanese 'Poop Soil Master' Has Been Defecating Outdoors For 45 Years’ At least he didn’t soil himself. I thought it’s only bears that shit in the woods.

‘Roger Federer takes another swipe at Greta Thunberg’ He swiped right on Tinder. I guess he isn’t getting enough at home.

‘Man dies after getting trapped upside down on 290ft chimney for 15 hours’ Quickest flue-related death this year.

“Horrified amputee says men troll her by claiming she’d be easy to rape ‘because she couldn’t do much with one leg’” Because when you’re legless, you get smashed and arseholed.

’Footballs must be sold with cigarette-style warnings over players’ dementia risk, study says’ If you're trying to smoke a football, it's probably too late for the dementia warning.

‘FA ask Wembley to play loud music to drown out booing when players take the knee’ Rumours that the chosen song is Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" have been denied.

Snooker legend Willie Thorne, 66, ‘unable to move arms and legs or feed himself due to sepsis’ Just goes to show that being a supreme athlete in your younger days is no guarantee of being healthy later in life.

'Former Royal Marine sparks fury for taking rowing machine to top of Mont Blanc and dumping it there' “Consider that a divorce” he told his old lady.

‘Always sanitary towels forced to axe Venus symbol from packaging in case it offends trans people’ The trannies are inclined towards Uranus.