Sickipedia

I just hope that the black astronaut survives his trip to space. Last time a black guy died of oxygen starvation, we never fucking heard the end of it

If these Paralympians can run faster than us, swim faster than us and are stronger than us, why are their parking spaces closer to the entrance at Tesco than ours?

When the Supremes did baby-love, they were added on the list of the most successful groups ever. When I did baby-love, I was added to a very different list.

8 people have had the whip removed this week: 7 Labour MPs and Charlotte Dujardin.

Anyone who says ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’ obviously doesn’t live in Hainault.

I was always taught to stand up to bullies. I'm proud to say that's just what I did! Throwing her in the river was perhaps a bit much though.

The family of the schoolboy murdered in Sheffield have described him as a ‘best friend to all’. Well, except for this one kid…

Just heard Liam Payne’s latest hit. The ground.

When I got home from my business trip to Leeds the other day, my wife was loading the washing machine. ‘Any whites?’ she asked me. ‘No, they’re all Pakis’ I said.

‘City falls silent for 35th Hillsborough anniversary’. Thank god for that, the sound that comes out of a scouser’s mouth is fucking unbearable.