Sickipedia

Gutted you didn't make it to Glastonbury? Just put 12 different cds on around the house and then stand at the back of the garden occasionally throwing pints of piss down your back.

I've just had one of those signs pop up saying, 'You are the 100,000th visitor today - claim your prize'. That's when I decided to pull Bonnie blues knickers up and go home.

I don't understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I'd stay at home with the wife

A report out today says 60% of girls under 16 in Liverpool are Binge drinking on a regular basis. I am shocked, who the fuck is looking after their kids?

Isn’t it weird Cheryl Cole had a hit song called Parachute

Liam Payne has just released his latest hit a cover version of westlifes * flying without wings*

The women's trophy for winning Wimbledon is essentially just a plate, just to remind them what they should be doing instead of playing tennis.

I have an idea for combining an army canteen with a brothel. But I'm worried I'll end up with a fucking mess.

Erik ten hag has been offered another job already! The Great Britain Tobogganing Team have said they have been looking for years for someone who can push a team downhill at that sort of speed

Never trust hair dressers. They are always talking behind your back.