Sickipedia

What's the difference between Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard? Frank Lampard won Liverpool the Premier League.

An elephant asked a camel, "Why do you have boobs on your back?" The camel was stunned for a second and then replied, “That’s a good question, especially coming from a freak who has a dick on his face!"

I see kate Garraway's husband Derek Draper has covid.

Two guys are walking down the street... One of them sees a "For Sale" sign hanging on a lamppost, and starts knocking on it. The other one says, "What are you doing?" "I wanna buy it so I need to see how much the owner wants for it, but he won't open up." "Weird. The lights are on."

People often see a light at the end of a tunnel in many near-death experiences They should really get off of the road

Lego bricks are being used to help people with dementia and alzheimers... They are being put at the side of their beds to remind the old folks to put their shoes on when they get up...

How is Bud Light like having sex in a boat? They're both fucking close to water.

I got into a fight with a chip shop owner, we were wrestling on the floor and one of his assistants chucked yellow gunk over us, as I got up the owner pushed me and I fell into the fryer and in that moment I knew i'd been battered.

I'm color blind and the other day I thought I could actually detect purple, but it was just a pigment of my imagination.

What do you call an evergreen with temporary godlike powers? Spruce Almighty