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I'm thinking about finishing my girlfriend because she's not living up to me expectations. I asked her for a Xbox One for Christmas - She got me a Xbox 360. I asked her for an IPhone 7 for my birthday she got me and iPhone 5 I've just rang her to ask her what's for tea, reminding her that it's Steak and Blow Job day. She's told me I'm getting a Pot Noodle and a wank.
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