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squiffy320

3 years ago-Politics-SNP-Post Rating : -2

Nicola Sturgeon is touring Perthshire in the First Minister’s chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur : " You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. " You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.” The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. " My God, what happened to you ?" asks Nicola. The chauffeur replies : " When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me." " What on earth did you say?" asks Nicola. " I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them, I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow."

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Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

dogsbody14 Lennywankstain...You're talking back at yourself again, jeez,how many fucking accounts have you got,cuntbreath?

an hour ago - View Post

bobby24 When taking a screenshot of unfunny shit that’s been all over ‘X’ FB, Instagram et al for the past wk at least have the fuckin’ decency to crop it before you spam it on here, you useless humourless dick ‘ed.

2 hours ago - View Post

risco & just what exactly are you expecting for that dire piece of fuckin’ shit you unfunny loser? Lots of thumbs up? Gems? Some kind of hilarity award you cunt? You’re about as funny as an inbred Pakeh who’s just had a clitorectomy ya fuckin’ bellend.

2 hours ago - View Post

risco …by far the most unfunny thing posted on here in yrs, you cretinous, arse dribblin’ spastic. No wonder this site is fuckin’ tanking. Tossers like you spamming decades old shit that was never funny first time around. Bit of luck you might do us all a favour tonight in your sleep & kiff it by choking to death on ya own bile embittered vomit, ya fuckin’ loser.

2 hours ago - View Post

risco ….siiiiigh, any chance of posting something original you arse dribblin’ spastic?

3 hours ago - View Post

scorpiox666 ….how is it even possible to be so boringly unfunny you arse dribblin’ cunt?

5 hours ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

jimmysammy

Rank : 1 | Score : 99.30

niggerfarage

Rank : 2 | Score : 89.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 3 | Score : 89.30

lennyscrevasse

Rank : 4 | Score : 86.00

hadoken

Rank : 5 | Score : 77.70