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An old man dies and goes to heaven, he arrives at the pearly gates and goes up to St Peter, and St Peter says to him "excuse me sir while I check your Lie Clock", the old man asks "Lie Clock?", St Peter explains "well everyone has a Lie Clock, for each lie you tell you have to wait one minute to get into heaven, here's Abraham Lincoln's for example, his only moved twice so he only had to wait two minutes, and Stephen Hawking's never moved at all so he got straight in", the old man says "oh I see now, right well before you check mine I want to see Boris Johnson's" St Peter replies "oh it's in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan"
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