Sickipedia

When relieving yourself at a busy gent’s urinal trough, gently rest your head on the adjacent man’s shoulder to demonstrate you’re not a threat and that you don’t want any trouble.

I was on a train this morning, in the loo, having a shit, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a shit." "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door." "No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"

As I exited the bathroom, I said to the wife, "I'd give it 5 minutes in there, if I were you" as I handed her a cloth and a bottle of bleach

Vanish- 'The UK's Number 1 Stain Removal! Is there a number 2 stain remover? My boxer shorts are absolutely fucked.

My wife hates golden showers. She'll have to get used to them now that the gas price is shooting up.

I tried keeping a bucket next to the bed because I always need a piss in the night. My wife won't allow it though, she says it goes beyond the pail.

‘Canterbury Cathedral reopens with unisex toilets to help maintain distancing’ Not sure how the ladies are going to cope with the urinals.

Gays like piss fun right ? So I joined Grindr with the name " The Gay Slasher"..... not one reply.. ....unbelievable!

My obsessive need to invent anagrams involving watersports will be my urination.

Ducky Dennis and i will be cheering on Tottenham tonight. We do enjoy a Hotspurt.