Sickipedia

Elon Musk bans rainbow flags from American classrooms. That is a bad business move. Most Tesla owners are benders.

Sarah Ferguson can no longer refer to herself as the Duchess of York. She has to return to her original title, 'The Hampshire Slapper'.

I can't find my birth certificate anywhere. I'm pretty sure it did happen, though.

Russell brand charged with multiple sex offences. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?

Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after ‘discussion with king’. That's a shame, after he worked so hard for them.

Prince Andrew told Virginia Giuffre, "My daughters are a little younger than you are", before having sex. "So I expect you to be more experienced", he added.

Taliban cuts off internet to prevent immorality - leaving Afghanistan cut off from the world. Gives them more time to fuck their 6-year-old wives.

Jimmy Kimmel's TV show has been suspended indefinitely, after failing to show sufficient respect for Charlie Kirk, the Patron Saint of Wilful Ignorance, to appease all those First Amendment enthusiasts out there. Well, before he got smoked, ol' Kirky there was a firm supporter of both the First and Second Amendments. I'd just like to say that the occasional dead right-wing gobshite is a price well worth paying, if it means Americans can keep their guns. You know, to defend themselves against a tyrannical Government, were one of those ever to emerge...

I was buying my 4th house, and before I paid my property tax, I asked if the Rayner deal was still available. The bloke said, I'll ask you a few questions and we'll see if you qualify.... "Have you created trust funds for all your children to reduce your tax? Is everything in your Wife's name? Do you have a bank account in a tax-free haven?" Yes, yes and yes, I replied. Thank you, sir - nothing to pay today.

Happy St. George's Day. Or, as it's more commonly known in England, Wednesday.