Sickipedia

To the odd cunt that's still left and makes the effort. Merry fucking Christmas. I wish STDs on all off you. Except that cunt from Oxford. He can suck on Santa's cock while being fucked up the shitter by Rudolph. I'm off to get some baby oil and a man size tissue ready for my Christmas day wank. over the Queens speech. Now fuck off and rape your sisters.

Things i have in common with Santa.. 1. I eat other peoples food if left unnattended. 2. I come once a year. 3. I have a heavy sack. 4. I am a fat fuck.

Its mad to think that its already 2019 in Austrailia. Yet in parts of Belfast it will always be 1690. 🍾🥂 Happy New Year to all Sickipedians... except the ginger ones obviously.👍🏻🍻

An experience from this day 2015...I had a few "Carol - Singers" round the other night!...about six of em! No costumes...or so much as a wisp of tinsel to signify their joyful festive spirit! Of the four boys...one grunted like an adenoidal Sloth...and actually resembled one as well [which was rather spooky]...another sounded like he'd poured bleach on his Jacob's!...while the remainder...simply moved their mouths [possibly just breathing]...and avoided eye - contact to the last! The girls sang and giggled alternate lines...until after around 34 seconds their "Gig"...petered out! My feelings and emotions at this point were difficult to express!...[before 9pm]...but I was glad that I hadn't activated my only remaining glow - stick to wave ceremoniously above my head as they performed! I did pay them!...50p each...but only on the contractual understanding that I would neither see or hear them again [anywhere]...this year...and a good way into the next! They agreed to my generous terms...wished me well...and trudged off to their next vict...er...audience!!.

I love the build up to Christmas. You can shout, "Don't come in my room..." The stupid cunts think I'm wrapping presents.

My new scouse girlfriend has been coyly hinting that she wants a proper visit from Santa, like when she was a kid. So I got up at three in the morning, crept into the lounge, stole all her presents and shat on the floor. Merry Christmas, sickipedians 😘😁

Satan sitting on his throne in Hell, going through his mail... “There’s another Christmas list from a thick dyslexic cunt.”

Happy Christmas, Sickipedians! I wish you all happiness, health and love. X

Old but Gold I work all year 6 days a week so the kids can have a brilliant Christmas, all the presents they want, and who gets all the credit?..that fat cunt with the beard, my fault for marrying her I suppose!!

Imagine my joy when I was getting out the Christmas decorations and found a present I forgot to give my kids last year. Their excited faces were a picture as they unwrapped it and opened the box. Such a pity it was a puppy.