Sickipedia

Sky News: Man jailed for keeping eight people enslaved in London car wash. The only surprise here is how clean these people probably are now!

I fell down the stairs and broke my cock after slipping on my wife’s miscarriage she dripped all over the floor after not keeping it all in her kecks earlier. “Fucking Hell, babe, my pork sword is bent to fuck and I’m covered in the cells of our child.” I then farted on her face and shit in her mouth and made her eat the shit and suck in the fart. I also decided to shit on her count to block any more miscarriage from dripping out of her cunt.

BBC News: Refugees to face 20-year wait to settle permanently under asylum reforms. BBC News 2046: Mystery surrounds huge rise in mass stabbings.

A homeless asylum-seeker came up to me with a bunch of magazines and said, "Big Issue?" "Yeah you are", I said "Fuck off back to bongo-bongo land"

The paki neighbour was moaning about "how bad he has it" and that because of cuts to his allowance, he has to make sacrifices this year. "For the big bang-up family vacation, this year, we can all only go to Disneyland, not Disney World !"

26 die when migrant boat sinks. Nigel Farage says it was a terrible tradegy, there were 60 survivors.

Al Murray - Name any country in the world, we've defeated them It's the little rubber dinghies that's been the unsolvable problem.