Sickipedia

Have you ever noticed that if Europe goes 5 days without an Islamic terrorist attack, the threat level drops to 'Who Gives a Fuck'?

"Muslims forced to drink alcohol and eat pork in China’s ‘re-education’ camps, former inmate claims" Free beer and bacon butties?!?! Fuck, someone get me a koran and plane ticket to China!!

Are you SURE jeremy hunt isn't cockney rhyming slang?

"Red Lorry yellow lorry, red lorry yellow lorry, red lorry yellow lorry." A memberof ISIS choosing his next weapon.

ISIS - Indian Shitbags Icing Someone

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in London and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when Custard Cream supplies all but ran out. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing" Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

One of the suspected Terrorists was reportedly wearing an Arsenal shirt during last nights events.. The solution to these atrocities? Simple; Deport all Arsenal fans.

Had a walk across London bridge the other day, was a mind blowing experience.

You Brits are one of the few nations to drive on the left and also the first one to complain if some stranger in a van gets confused.

It looks like the Russians are taking over Kazakhstan, however it is proving difficult getting reliable information from the region. Where the hell's Borat when you need him?