Sickipedia

Homer Simpson gets home from the nuclear power plant one night and finds a massive skidmark laced around the bowl of the Evergreen Terrace shitter " For fuck's sake Marge ! " , he shouts , "Have you had a poo today ? " " Yes Homey " , she shouts back , " Up the arse by the Kiwk-e-Mart bins ! "

Dear moderators, Kindly remove my wife from my timeline Thanks

Do you think the Jew that got the Id tattoo '007' during the Holocaust felt kinda cool for a while?

I wonder if Luke Littler would hit you in the face every time with a snowball

When he was Southampton FC manager, one of the biggest complaints against Russell Martin was he bought all his mates to play for Southampton. With their new manger, Will Still, The Saints have made sure that doesn't happen again. Because Will Still is Ginger. And Ginger people have no friends

80s singer, musician and actor Leee John, is using his imagination to relaunch his career - as a magician. He'll be on stage late though you're Looking at Midnight Nod to Chum

I love putting on underwear, fresh and warm, out of the dryer and then look around the laundromat to see who it belongs to.

Had an ice cream van come around the other day, the bloke serving was dressed as a Viking, I asked for 2 cornets and a 99, he said he could only do tubs. It was lvar the Coneless

That driver in Liverpool was a delivery driver for Costa Coffee. Apparently someone had ordered 12 flat whites.

I was sitting on a park bench yesterday, admiring the flowers. An old man with eyes of wisdom approached, and sat next to me. "Age is just a number, my friend. You can do anything you want to do in this world, as long as you are kind to those that matter". That man's name? Jimmy Savile.